enough of the fire breathing
smoldering heat of dependence
my pulse was made to beat
not collide with pain and strip
unforgiving fools pretending
lack of appreciation bending
the last of my threads are pulled
frayed and changing existence
tomorrow will bind me firm
but today will determine seconds
frustration in small words
floods pounding my forehead
squeezing music right in me
this is the end of beautiful surrender
wasted no more I find peace
holding my deepest red forever
waiting for the strong warrior
in the night where I have fought
such a fool I cried pitifully
all that the flames do to me
I remember what is not wanting

So I am back from a crazy week of chillin' in good ol' Michigan. It will be hard to remember what really happened because it is pretty much all a blur. I think I broke a record for hanging out in a bathroom in front of a mirror on Sunday... and also a record with the usage of hairspray. I even wore waterproof mascara, but I could have gone otherwise. That stuff is hard to get off. Yup, the brother is married off and honeymoonin'. There is something rather sweet about being the oldest and still single.

My uncle told me that I really need to get with the program and get in the car with all the cans so that I don't have to clean up afterwards. I will do that if I can find myself a gentleman. They are few and far between.

The phone is dead... my brain is slow... I am not going to work till tomorrow... and I have surprised myself.

I need to suck it up and learn the guitar. I think I could truly get in touch with my inner person that way. Write a couple songs. Play and sing my heart out. No one can really hurt that right? Don't worry I am not hurt right now. I am feeling rather like steel. A mixture of iron and... oh shoot... some other metal? I am wicked tired.

Why do people put so much detail into buttons?

There is no sense in getting ticked off if it won't solve anything. Sometimes anger means that you are healing from the sorrow. But you cannot stay there for a long. It is only supposed to push you forward into resolution and renewal. It gives you a chance to take action and change the way things have been. Once you get over that little hill (yes it is little) you find that the ride is much smoother and that there really are people out there that care. We have to realize that we are not the only ones here with issues... we have to show others that there is someone who cares, even if no one else is going to do it.